Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I really, REALLY do not care.

What other parents do. 

Today I planned to tell you all about how I had to strip Lucy's cloth diapers on Monday, but I've been bombarded with sass ever since my post on CIO, and now I feel obligated to set the record straight - not just on the whole CIO thing, but parenting styles in general. (ETA:  This is not directed at the lovely ladies that commented on the CIO post)

I DO NOT CARE what other parents do with their kids.

I don't care what you feed them (breast milk or formula).

I don't care when you start solids (4 months or 6 months or anywhere inbetween).

I don't care how you diaper them (cloth or disposable or straight to underwear).

I don't care if you do or do not vaccinate.

I don't care how you put your baby to sleep each night (Cry-It-Out, comfort nursing, in the swing, whatever) OR where your baby sleeps for that matter (in their crib, in your bed, or in a dresser drawer).

Do you see where I'm going with this?  I hope so.  I'm not saying that I don't enjoy conversing about these things, because I do - I really do!  But when it comes to thinking about it after the conversation has ended and "judging" the other parent's choices, my logic is pretty simple and pretty straightforward:  Not my kid, NOT my problem!

Maybe it's because Lucy was the best surprise ever unplanned, that I didn't have time to decide beforehand what kind of parent I wanted to be or what was the "best" way to parent.  Maybe it's just the sheer desperation to keep my baby happy, that I'll exhaust any means necessary.  But I believe we parent the way we do because we love our daughter.  

We all love our kids.  We all want what's best for our kids.  And since all kids are infinitely different from one another, our parenting styles and choices have to be too.

When I hear the words judge, judgey, or judgemental, I laugh.  If people honestly think that I have the spare energy or brain capacity to even think about what they're doing with their kids, they're even more sleep deprived than I am. 

How do you feel about judgey moms and dads? 


  1. Was that post for me?? I was 1 of only 2 comments from your previous posts...I certainly don't judge you, just wanted to share my experiences.

  2. Oh my goodness, no, Sarah!!! I really appreciated your and Melissa's comment on the CIO post. This post was directed towards the people that sent me rude emails and made some other not-so-nice comments on FB.

  3. This is pretty funny to me, Tay...because I am SO JUDGEMENTAL about parenting. I'll flat out admit it. Actually, maybe I should blog about being a super judgey momma.

    Let's be honest, we all do things the way we think is best, which means by default, we think the other ways of doing things are lesser. That's the crux of making a decision on anything. Call it a cost vs benefit analysis or whatever you want, but what it comes down to is, we all judge. Even when you say you aren't judging, you are judging. But that's TOTALLY cool in my book.

    I'm all about parents making their own choices, and feeling strong for those choices. But that's it right there - if you are going to do something, be it CIO, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, vaccinating...not using plastic (me me me me me) then you have to do it knowing that you have made the best choice for you and your family. Regardless of what someone else may think or do.

    So, I'm judgey. But if I wasn't, and if no one else was, we would all do things exactly the same.

    To judge means, form an opinion or conclusion about...

    Isn't that what we all do, every day when we make a decision? So my question is, what is so wrong with making decisions, and believing that they are the right decision for your family?

    I think where the whole conversation goes awry is when people aren't comfortable enough in their own shoes to say "I CIO AND I'M HAPPY WITH IT" or "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SAHM MOMMA AND I'M PROUD OF IT" etc etc etc. It all comes down to insecurities.

    Be a parent. Make your choices. And stick by them. Be proud. Be strong.

    I may be judgey, but I respect any parenting choice that is made to benefit your own family. I respect your right to make a choice, and I respect your right to educate yourself on what's best.

    I agree with you though, I don't give a rats butt what you do with your own kid (as long as you're happy, and the kid is happy) but I most definitely do think the way I do things is best. Or I wouldn't do them.

    My gosh, this is the longest comment in the history of comments - prepare for a blog post on this topic. I'm heated up.

    Love ya!

  4. OMG I'm the worst commenter ever.

    That's a monster!

  5. Holy cow, Jaye Fay, what a long AND wonderful comment!!! I certainly look forward to your post about being judgey. Hahaha! I suppose you are (once again) right in your logic - you always are! I’ve never thought about it that way (and I absolutely love the accounting analogy). Thank you my dear girl for your two cents, love ya mucho!!!

  6. I stumbled along this post! Love it. Parents that judge drive me crazy. Everyone has their own opinions of parenting and that makes us all different! I'm following you from awhile back:)

  7. I get Jaye's logic, but I think of it a little differently. I think of it as I'm making a parenting decision for MY kid, not all kids. Whatever decisions I make, I certainly think are best for my kid and my family. If someone else were raising my kid and did it differently, I would judge. But other parents aren't raising my kid, they're raising their kids. And who I am to say what is best for their kid and their family? Each circumstance is different, each kid is different.

    Am totally looking forward to Jaye's judgey post, though, haha!