A letter to a slightly younger, pregnant me...

I've seen these letters all over the place...commercials, youtube, magazines, and most recently: here.

I would have LOVED to have read this letter when I got my BFP (big FAT positive) pregnancy test!  As we all know, I was completely hysterical - crying, screaming, the whole bit!  Knowing a few of these things would've been so very helpful in calming my crazed self on that life changing day, that took place a whole year ago today.  (happy BFP day to me!)

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Dear Tay,

Take a deep breath.  If you're reading this, it means you just took a pregnancy test for no reason whatsoever, and got a completely unexpected result.  BREATHE.  You do not need to be scared.  This is your slightly older, mom-self.  You should know a few things before you start hyperventilating.... 

You are growing a human.  A real live human.  It is amazing, crazy, and BEAUTIFUL.  One day you will be laying on your dirty old couch next to a little baby, and she will be all yours.

You are going to love being a mom.  You will love this baby more than anything or anyone before, more than your own life.  More than cake even.  You may not have planned this, but it was meant to be, she was meant to be.  This is God's plan.  Right now it seems like your life is over, but this really is a blessing in disguise.

Try not to consume crazy amounts of chocolate and ginger ale over the next 9 months, your ass will thank you later.  Who knows...maybe you'll be able to prevent a few of these 55 stretch marks.

Save yourself some time, and start looking for a part time job now - because you are going to hate being a working momma.  All those glorious plans of going back to work will not be as easy peasy as you're making them out to be.

Changing a diaper is a lot less complicated than you're imagining. 

Mom and Dad will both be absolutely thrilled with the news, so stop being scared!  This is what married people do, they make babies!  LOTS of babies!

Research your stroller and breast pump choices a little more thoroughly, you're trunk and boobs will appreciate the consideration.

Finish the damn house before that little baby arrives!  I know telling you this is useless, but, hey, it's worth a shot.  And, by the way, that tile shower Casey wants to do is a huge mistake!

And on that note, spend some quality time with Casey.  Enjoy this time alone, because it'll be approximately 4 months and 11 days before your first "date night".

You think you're busy now, but in the next nine months or so, you will be exponentially more busy than you  ever imagined possible.  Like dirty dishes in the sink for days busy. 

Everything happens for a reason.  There is no use in fighting or stressing, just embrace the journey you are about to embark on.  In one year exactly, you will have this:

Ready or (very clearly) not, here she comes!

Love always,

Momma Goose

Confessions: Week 6

Confession #15:  I cannot eat while I pump or breastfeed.  I just can't.  It makes me uncomfy.  I know that my tuna sandwich isn't going to go directly into my breast milk...but still...its weird.  And I think eating while breastfeeding is just rude.  Excuse me, Lulu, I'd rather eat my popsicle than stare into your dreamy eyes. 

Confession #16:  Miss Left put out 7 ounces this morning.  You go girl!

Confession #17:  If I am still working after this Christmas, I am first going to kick and scream, and then I'm going to buy a new DOUBLE breast pump.

Confession #18:  I splurged and bought myself two new breast shields yesterday.  I bet your jealous, huh?  Don't be.  After buying, and then using, these breast shields I realized they were the wrong size.  Awesome.
 
Did you miss last week's confessions?  You poor thing!  Go!  Go read them all NOW!   

Any of my pumping momma friends out there want to confess?  Now's the time!  

I don't see you enough.

I don't see you enough. 

Everyday, when I have to leave you, I ask God why.  Why do I have to leave her?  Why do I have to go to work?  Why can't I just stay with her forever?

My favorite part of the day is coming home and seeing you smile.  When I walk through the door, your face lights up with the biggest smile the world has ever seen.  You bounce up and down, and gurgle with excitement.  You tell me all about your day and give me a big, drool-filled kiss.

My second favorite part of the day is bedtime.  Specifically those last few minutes before we both fall asleep...when we're laying there quietly, just staring at each other sleepily, holding hands and drifting away.  I savor those 5-10 minutes, because one day I know I'll blink and you'll be too big for bed-sharing.  Too big for breastfeeding.  Too big for cuddling.

I don't see you enough.

Whoever said 12 10 weeks postpartum was sufficient?  I think a year would be better.  And I think never again would be even better than that.  Maternity leave flew by.  I was in such a sleep deprived daze, just trying to survive being a new mom, that I didn't realize how fleeting time really was.  I didn't appreciate each and every moment the way I should have.

Every day I go to work, because I have to work.  Every day I stare at your pictures on my phone and pray that one day I can stay home with you.  And every day I get more and more miserable. 

I should be the one you show your belly to...

I don't see you enough. 

You are my baby.  My precious little baby girl that I carried in my belly for over 38 weeks.  We were always together.  And for those first ten weeks of your life, we were always together.  I feel like mothers shouldn't have to work (unless they want to...  Then, by all means, knock your socks off!).  I'd live in a cardboard box, with no cell phone, no vacations, no anything, if it meant I could be with you all day everyday.  Unfortunately, I don't think CPS would approve of the whole cardboard box thing.

I should be there for nakey baby time...

I always knew that I would love to be a stay at home mom, but I never knew I'd need to be a stay at home mom.


How about you mommas?  How do you feel about your decision to stay home or work?  Is anyone else in the process of trying to become a SAHM?  

The awkward and personal things...

...that people say, ask, and share with you when you're a mom.

I hear the strangest things when I'm grocery shopping, getting gas, strolling through the mall, you name it.  Having a baby is like an invitation for unwanted small talk.  I realize that might make me sound like an evil old shrew, but its the truth.

People will come up to me and ask a pretty generic question, how old is she or what's her name, just so they can tell me about THEIR children or THEIR birth weight or THEIR chronic asthma.  I do not freaking care cashier lady!  Give me my damn receipt, and let me be on my merry way!!!

No really, I do NOT care.

Grocery shopping used to be very therapeutic for me (pre-Lucy).  I used to take my time, stroll through every aisle thinking about possible new recipes....  Now its a game of speed.  In and out.  I even made a comprehensive shopping list to help move things along.  It doesn't matter though, because at least two people will stop me in the store to tell me all about how they were in labor for 45 hours and had a 13 pound baby..

Some of the weird things that I've been asked and/or told....

(Male) cashier at Fry's...  Was your husband in the room for the birth? 

Florist at Safeway (after first, VERY clearly, glancing at my boobs)...  So you're breastfeeding?

Co-worker (that I am not close with by any means)...  Did you lose all of the baby weight yet?  Did you get a lot of stretch marks? 

Fellow Costco customer...  She's so big!!!  She must have been a big baby to birth!  Did you tear a whole lot?

Nurse at Pediatrician #1's office...  THAT'S a c-section baby!!!  I can tell by the head!

Bag boy at Safeway...  You must feel a lot of relief carrying her on the outside now.  You were pretty huge!

My least favorite, and unfortunately most common comment, You're not feeding her enough!  

HAHA!  You're hilarious.

Am I the only one?  PLEASE tell me some of you mommas have had to deal with comments like these!

Look who's teething!

Who, me?

Lulu had her 4 month check up on Friday, at her new pediatrician's office, and the doc confirmed it...our girl is TEETHING!  

One of the bottom middle teeth is coming in, and we think one of the upper middle teeth is too.  Wowza!  It's crazy to see and feel those little baby teeth!  Goosey has been drooling for weeks.  And she seems to have some other teething symptoms as well:  biting behavior, occasional fussiness and sleep problems (like last night), and she's constantly gnawing on her fingers.

So far we've been lucky, she hasn't had a fever (fingers crossed!).  I asked the doctor about Orajel for future teething pains, and he said to forget the Orajel, and that the best thing for a teething baby is a frozen teething ring.  I guess we'll find out what does and doesn't work soon enough.   For now we've got to start wiping her gums with a warm wash cloth.

nom nom nom....Daddy's phone...NOM!

In other news, Lulu's percentiles were confirmed:

Weight:  17.0 lbs (97th percentile)

Height:  25 in (37th percentile)

My big girl!  I asked the doc if her numbers were concerning, and he said no way Jose.  Some babes gain a bunch of weight just before a growth spurt, which is pretty common in the first 6 months.  He also commented on her neck control and hand-eye coordination, he said she was "advanced", and that based on her leg strength, she'd be crawling in no time.  

Holy baby milestones, Batman! 

Confessions: Week 5

Confession #11:  I wish that I could pump at my desk, I'd rock a hands free pump and all.  I'd get so much more work done!

Confession #12:  The very first thing I do when I sit down to pump, in the office and at home, is take my shoes off.

Confession #13:  (more of a fun fact than a confession) the skin on and around your breasts - like your arm pits (!) - may become itchy during let down.  Just another fun sign of a healthy let down.  Happens to me quite often thankyouverymuch.

Confession #14:  I call my dad and/or Fallon three times a day, during every pump break, for an update on Goose.  This annoys the hell out of my dad, but Fallon humors me.  Hey!  It preserves my sanity, ok?! 

Update on Auntie:  She was discharged from the hospital Thursday night, after some exploratory and minor surgery.  She is doing MUCH better!

Love you, Sissy!

How 'bout that hemp?

There comes a time in every cloth diapering parent's life when they realize their kid has become a "super soaker".  For us, that realization hit on Lucy's 4 month birthday.

She looks innocent, but she can fill a diaper quicker than you can yell, Not it!

There are so many diaper systems out there. We've barely scratched the surface after four months in cloth.  Sometimes I feel like I know what I'm doing, but then sometimes I don't.  Like when I go here. 

For the past week or so, I've noticed that Lulu has been waking up with wet pajamas.  I'm not talking full blown leaks, just some dampness around the leg gussets.  So I consulted the lovely Cloth Diaper Girls over at The Bump.  Those Bumpies are super helpful.  Just sayin'!  They told me all about hemp inserts and double stuffing for nighttime.

Photo:  Kelly's Closet

Hemp inserts are a magical thing, you see.  Hemp inserts are the most absorbent of all the inserts in the land.  From what I've gathered, hemp can hold a lot of liquid, microfiber cannot.  Microfiber is great for soaking up the moisture and keeping the skin dry, but it is the least absorbent insert available.  So...the resolve...double stuffing a pocket diaper with a microfiber insert and a hemp insert - microfiber on top to keep the skin dry and free of any diaper rash. 

I never even thought to double stuff Lulu's nighttime diapers!  I guess because its never been a problem up until recently...  The bigger the bambino the greater the output.  Suddenly those oh-so-easy to use all in one diapers aren't cutting it at bedtime...enter Fuzzibunz pocket diapers.  I've never been one to hide my disdain for stuffing pockets, but you gotta do what you gotta do - to avoid crazy leaks.  We ordered a couple of these and a couple of these, and I'm on the prowl for some of these!  In the meantime, we're double stuffing with two microfiber inserts.  I shall report back with feedback soonish, my dears.

What about you mommas?  What are your nighttime solutions?  Have you tried hemp inserts?

*Edit to add - Auntie Fallon was admitted to the hospital very early this morning, please pray for her.