Everything is hard.

We're living at my parents' house right now. 

Our air conditioner broke last Sunday. 

We are so effed.  To say that things are tight, would be a massive understatement.  We can't afford to buy a new a/c unit and we don't qualify for financing.  I have no clue what we're going to do.  It's summer...

That's the most immediate issue we're dealing with, but there is so much more...

I have anxiety.  Really bad anxiety.   
I'm going back to school (which I'll elaborate on in a separate post).  Class starts at the end of May.
I got a part-time job last week.  I'm enjoying it, but childcare and pumping are an issue.
Our marriage is a balancing act.
Parker is a teething nightmare. 
Lucy can be bipolar at times.

It just feels like a lot.  I don't know how to climb out of the hole.  I'm trying to stay positive and I'm always praying, but sometimes I feel hopeless and whiny.  (Like right now.  Sorry, readers.)

I didn't know how bad my anxiety was until recently.  It's like I've been in a fog for the past 5 years - since we got engaged.  It's the root of all my anger management issues.  I've jokingly referred to it as 'Survivor Mode' in the past, but that's exactly what it is- surviving, not living.  I put so much pressure on myself.  To have a big wedding.  To buy a house and fix it up.  To be the best parent.  I felt like I needed to prove to myself and everyone else that we could do it, despite our age.  And now, after 4 years of marriage (next Wednesday), I know that it can be done.  But at a price. 

I finally know why my parents said not to get married when we did.  They weren't saying not to marry Casey...  They wanted us to be kids a little longer, instead of rushing into all the responsibilities that come with being an adult.  They wanted us to finish school and have good jobs, so we wouldn't have to struggle like we are now. 

Hindsight is 20/20.  Right, friends?

And if anybody knows an HVAC guy, holla!

An Easter Recap

What's that you say?  Easter was almost two weeks ago?  Oops!

Get it, get it!

 

Parker was all about the grass.

 

Easter socks.

(Probably the only blogger that didn't snap a picture of the kids' baskets...)

Both kiddos got bubbles, bath toys, socks, books, and two little (age-appropriate) toys.  The baskets were pretty light this year, since Lu's birthday was the week before and Parker is still too young to care.  We had a quiet morning at home, just the four of us - which I loved - and then the running around began; we had lunch with Casey's family and dinner with mine.  We had great weather and yummy food-- overall, it was a great day!     

We also colored eggs the day before...

And went to Eggstravaganza the weekend before...

3 out of 4 Sheltons looking...I'll take it!

There was a pancake breakfast, bounce houses, cookie decorating, pictures with the Easter Bunny and some random chicken, and, of course, an egg hunt.  We arrived early enough that we thought we had time to partake in the pancake breakfast, but it was mobbed.
 

Hahaha, fools!

We ended up having to run the length of the park, with pancakes in hand, to the field where the hunt was being held.  My mom was way too optimistic about our timing, and (very awkwardly) brought a handful of empty eggs for Lu to "practice" with before the hunt.

Haha.

Needless to say, Lucy did not get a chance to practice her egg gathering skills.  She still did awesome, though!  Hopefully we'll make it there a little earlier next year...

If you squint, you can kind of see the eggs scattered on the field behind us.

 

Lu didn't quite grasp the urgency of egg collecting, like the older kids did.  (Hence my and my mom's fingers in this picture.)

Soooo proud of herself after the hunt!

Lucy's Brave Birthday Party

We celebrated our favorite girl yesterday!  We had beautiful weather and a house full of family and friends.  There was yummy food and happy kiddos playing.  We finished the party with a whispered version of "Happy Birthday", because Parker was napping.  (It's a small house, remember?)

Once again, forgot to take pictures until about halfway through the party....but here's what I got!



FREE printable invitations



Menu: BBQ Shredded Pork Sliders, Mac & Cheese Bites, Potato Salad & Chips, Ambrosia, Fruits & Veggies



Banana and Strawberry Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting from Jules' Gems



(Confession:  I ate all of the leftover fondant arrows.)

 

Grammy and Grampy bought Lulu a swing-set for her birthday.  We put it to good use yesterday!



Lu and Ryan at the water table

Parker, the ladies man

Singing "Happy Birthday"

NOM.

Eating cuppies with Eliana.

Opening Auntie Fallon, Uncle Cole and Julie's present

The girls hugging "byyyyyyyyyye"

Party favors: sunglasses, bubbles and lollipops!  (Can't even believe I didn't make custom cookies for my own daughter...oy)

So sleepy after all the fun!

Lucy had so much fun with all of her friends yesterday, and she's having a blast with all of her new toys!  A BIG thank you to everyone that was apart of Lucy's special day.

Trip to the Phoenix Zoo

We went to the zoo with my mother and grandmother-in-law on Tuesday.  It was Lucy and Parker's first time, and they loved it!  We were there almost 4 hours, and still only saw about half of the animals-- must go back!!  Lu insisted on walking the whole way, and was adamant about holding great grandma's hand.  She really enjoyed watching the animals and other kids.  Parker too!  In fact, Parker loved it so much that he stayed awake all four hours...  (Dude flipped OUT when he eventually realized how tired he was.)  We're looking forward to many more trips to the zoo as the kids get older.

Here's a few pictures from my phone, since I forgot our camera.   

Mommy got a break!  Phew!

Lucy's favorite!  We actually went inside the monkey cage and got real up close and personal.

Big ass lizard.  Ew.

Parker gets baptised.

Baptism, like so many other things, is easier the second time around.  I just sort of called Pastor Steve and said, "Hey, remember us?  We had another baby."  (Of course, there was a slight awkwardness because we hadn't stepped foot in church since Lucy's baptism-- and the Pastor pointed that out.)

And so, on Sunday, February 3, (a.k.a. Super Bowl Sunday) Parker was baptised.  We kept it small, just family and our closest friends (our tiny house can't handle much more than that).  It was the first time our house had really been cleaned and presentable in months; and, added bonus, Casey even finished our outdoor playroom (will share in another post, promise).  My mom and I cooked up some yummy brunch items, and there wasn't a crumb leftover.  It was a beautiful ceremony and party, despite missed naps and nursing sessions.

Parker's godparents, Meg and Mike, are two of our closest friends that we love mucho.  I think of Meg as my big sister, and she thinks of Parker as her own-- so, asking them seemed like no-brainer.  We were beyond thrilled when they accepted.

Here are some pictures from the day...  (Please note:  Parker is wearing Uncle Cole's baptism suit that is about two sizes too small.  He rocked it.)

Bored out of her mind.

Hamming it up for the congregation.

We did it!

YUM.

Group photo fail.
(Everyone was exhausted and hungry, and Parker was so dang slippery in that silk outfit.)