Breastfeeding during Pregnancy

My breastfeeding goal has always been between 12-18 months; after the first 12 months I would wean Lucy at her own pace, and hopefully be "done" by 18 months.  But sadly, I won't be meeting that goal.  I posted about my supply issues back in December, thinking it was related to my lazy pump habits, but the real culprit turned out to be a total surprise; and Lucy had her first taste of formula just a few days before her 10 month birthday.  I have mixed emotions about this: 

I am thankful to have something like formula available.

I'm quite peeved about the cost.  (How on earth do formula families pay these prices for a whole year???)       

I'm a little self conscious.  I used to feel so proud about never having to buy formula or disposable diapers...and now I've lost all breastfeeding credibility.

I'm relieved.  I.hate.pumping.  I hate it!  It's tedious, it's time consuming, and it's occasionally uncomfortable.  Can.not wait for the day when I get to break up with my pump.  No more schlepping that giant bag to work; no more time spent pumping (1-1.5 hours each day!); no more stressing about supply fluctuation!

I'm grossed out.  Formula smells.  Like, legitimately stinks...  (Maybe it's just my heightened sense of smell?)      

There's no set date for our breastfeeding journey to end, it could be a few more days or a few more weeks.  Right now I'm only nursing Lucy before bed, and pumping very infrequently the rest of the time; her bottles are about 50-75% formula.  I've been experiencing some pain when nursing/pumping, which I hear only gets worse!  And I can no longer feel my milk let down, due to my very low supply and pregnancy hormones.  On the upside, though, breastfeeding seems to have inhibited morning sickness entirely.  Yeehaw!  Eventually my milk will dry up completely, as my body begins producing colostrum for the new baby.  Will be sure to keep everyone updated as we make this transition.  If anyone is interested in more information, I recommend, as always, KellyMom: Nursing during Pregnancy.

Lucy isn't too broken up about it, she has cooler things to eat...  Like macaroni, beets, and POPSICLES.

10 Weeks

How far along?  Ten weeks and two days.  Eeek!  Already into the double-digits!!!

How big is baby?  Prune!  Measuring approximately 1.2 inches and .14 ounces.  Babe has functioning arm joints, bone and cartilage is forming, vital organs are fully developed and functioning, fingernails and hair are beginning to come in, and he/she is practicing swallowing and kicking.  Can't wait to feel those baby kicks for the first time!!!  

Physical differences from last week?  I've lost 1.2 pounds so far, which I think is pretty cool.  My pre-pregnancy weight was 109.6, and I am now 108.4.  Hoping to significantly reign in the weight gain this time around, with the help of my trusty pregnancy diet - more on that in a separate post.  I've been blessed with almost no bloat or round ligament pain!  My regular clothes still fit fabulously (hoping to avoid maternity clothes for as long as possible!).  Here's my weekly pic:

How I'm feeling?  No morning sickness (thank you, Breastfeeding!), no excessive fatigue, and no sore boobs for THIS girl!  Trips to the bathroom have increased, as have "weird" dreams.  I don't think I've had any legit cravings yet; I've been trying to avoid sweets, so naturally they're all I think about.

What's been on my mind?  How drastically different this pregnancy has been from my first.  How on earth I'll decorate a nursery for TWO babes, as Lulu will be sharing with her little brother or sister.  BABY NAMES. 

What I'm looking forward to?  The Nuchal Translucency Scan on February 10.  We opted not to have this scan done with Lucy, because we felt the results wouldn't make a difference; but I've since learned to take any and all opportunities to see the babe (and guess the gender!). 

Best moment this week?  Seeing my sweet peanut on the ultrasound screen this morning, kicking his/her little feet and sucking on his/her hands, and with a very strong and fast heartbeat at 188 bpm!  Also, finally establishing an EDD (after much confusion)...August 24.  Bring on that summer heat, baby!

Aww, sucking on her hand!

Click here to read my 10 Week update from  my first pregnancy!

Baby's First Lung Infection

Lucy has been in daycare for two whole weeks, and after just two days she became congested.  The congestion has been around ever since...  Which I'm fine with, I expected this (the occasional runny nose, dry cough, and maybe even an ear infection or two).  Comes with the territory, right?  Well the congestion has since expanded into a wet, hoarse cough, green mucus and swollen bronchioles.  Her cold lasted so long that it became a bacterial infection in her lungs.  Which I am not fine with, and I did not expect.

Our pediatrician didn't put an actual label on the illness, but she did put Lucy on two antibiotics.  For seven days.  I have to pin my kid down twice a day, for seven days, and squirt teaspoons of medicine into her mouth.  Do you have any freakin' clue how BIG a teaspoon is???  You think I'm kidding.  Lucy cries every time she coughs.  Her nose and throat are raw.  She absolutely hates having her nose wiped, and you can just forget about the bulb syringe - that's officially a two-person job!  But despite all the pain she's in, she is still my sweet, happy girl.  She plays, laughs, smiles...

I know we were very lucky to be able to keep Lucy out of daycare for as long as we did.  And we're also really lucky that she's never had a real, full blown illness before now, not even a fever.  But that doesn't make me feel any less guilty...for being a working mom...for supplementing with formula...  And it sure as heck doesn't make me feel any less sick.  (Because, oh yeah, the whole family caught the bug.)

Pregnant (Again)!

::faints::

Can you believe it?  I still can't.  This little one was a complete surprise.

I tested on January 12 and the positive showed up almost immediately.  I.was.shocked.  As in, speechless-statue-locked-in-my-sister's-bathroom-for-fifteen-minutes shocked.  Saw my OB last Tuesday and Thursday to check my HCG levels; and she called last Friday to say my levels were increasing nicely, also estimated that I was 7-8 weeks along.  Ultrasound will be on Monday to confirm! 

The circumstances couldn't be further from ideal, but that doesn't matter, because I already feel so much love for my baby; and I'm proud of that feeling.  When I found out that I was pregnant with Lucy, I was terrified.  I was so afraid of the unknown that I never really bonded with my belly.  But this time I know what to expect.  I know how much joy and happiness this baby will bring me.  I know how much I will love being a mother to this child.

And that's not to say that I'm not scared, because I am, because ohmygah I am going to have TWO kids!  But my fears are significantly lessened by the thought of holding my squishy newborn, seeing Lucy as a big sister, and the opportunity to do things "the right way" this time.  (Sorry Lu, you had to be the crash test dummy!) 

Two.kids.  Two.freaking.kids.  TWO FREAKING KIDS UNDER TWO YEARS OLD.

::faints::

10 Months

Dang girl, dang!  Double-digits!!! 



10 Months


Just look at that picture.  Look how fun you are, Lu!  It's impossible to be sad about you getting older when you're this happy and this much fun.



At 10 Months:

You babble constantly, and your favorite word is Dada.  Everything is Dada.  (Me, the fridge, your teething biscuits, the dogs, everything.)

You've started shrieking.  Like a lot.  Not sure if you're already starting to have tantrums, or if you're just finding your voice.

You wave and clap.  So cute! 

You don't really crawl.  You do a lot of rolling and army crawling. 

You love to cruise along the furniture and walk all over the place with someone holding your hands.  You are constantly moving.

You started going to daycare a couple days each week.  (And you're already sick!)

You have made huge strides with your separation anxiety!  You've become so independent.  You'll play by yourself, and even let me leave for work in the mornings!!!

The Barney Book is your favorite!

You are still a little unsure of strangers, though.

You were introduced to the following foods this month:  pork roast, chicken breast, turkey breast, eggs, couscous, cucumber, plain yogurt and Yogurt Melts, cheese (LOVE), peach, pita, pancake, avocado, Puffs, and Baby Mum Mum (thanks, Beck!).

Mmm cheese

You're going through this thing where you refuse to be spoon-fed and will only eat finger foods.

You recently developed a phobia of bathtime.

You are sleeping through the night, 6 pm - 5 am.

You have 3 teeth.

You weigh 22 pounds (90th percentile).  You actually lost a little weight this month!

You are 29.5 inches (90th percentile).

You are wearing size 12 month clothing and size Large diapers.

You celebrated your first Christmas.

You are no longer exclusively breastfed.  ::sad face::  I need to write a post all about this.  You had your first taste of formula over the weekend, and hated it.  Fortunately, you've become more tolerant since then.  Right now you get about 4 ounces each day, mixed with breast milk, but I'm sure the ratios will continue to change as my supply crashes and burns. 

We love you, Babes.  I don't know how we got so lucky as parents, because we really don't deserve you.  Better go start planning your birthday party, huh?  ::sobs::

 

On my way to work this morning...

Would you believe that it's 10 months later and I still get choked up every time I drive by your hospital, Lu?  I remember everything perfectly. 

The day before you were born Daddy and I drove across the valley, at 4 something in the morning, to turn you.  After the procedure failed we went to Sweet Tomatoes (our favorite!) and pigged out big time.  We spent the day finishing up last minute preparations, while waiting for that darn call, and had a huge corned beef dinner in honor of St. Patty's Day.  Dr. O called while we were eating and told us to hurry back to the hospital.  I had a quick cry, and then the craziness began: we threw the dishes in the sink, grabbed our bags, emptied the fridge, and dropped the dogs. 

We spent hours in triage - even though they were expecting us - because L & D was packed.  We finally got a room around 1 am.  They put me on a million different monitors, including one very annoying finger monitor (it would sound an alarm every time I took it off, which was quite frequent with all the bathroom trips).  I had to put it on Daddy's finger or toe, without waking him, run to the bathroom and then run back to bed before the nurses came in to see what the heck was going on.  It makes me laugh just thinking about it. 

In the morning we had a huge pancake breakfast, because I had to start fasting shortly after, in case of the c-section.  That hospital had some spectacular pancakes, let me tell you.  Your Daddy and I were bums all day long, because I was on strict bedrest orders; we napped, watched movies, cuddled in the cramped hospital bed, surfed the internet.  We both had the worst anxiety, especially since our time slot in the OR kept getting pushed back (four times).  Grammy came to the hospital after work; and the rest of the family began to arrive over the next few hours - our birthing suite became quite cramped. 

Dr. O came in around 7 pm.  She was amazed by our situation...  I had been contracting all day, with minimal to no pain, and was dilated to 5 centimeters.  (Most breech pregnancies do not dilate past 1 cm.)  The nurses herded all of our visitors to the waiting room, and brought us down the hall to the big silver doors.  The rest is history.

The time spent in the Postpartum Unit is my favorite memory.  I wish we could go back in time, freeze that moment and live in it forever.  Confined in that very small room, with more visitors than we knew what to do with, we were a family for the first time.  Everything was about you, Lu.  It was stressful, it was new, it was unreal how much love fit in that room.

And now I'm crying.
(And yes, I owe you a 10 Month Birthday Post...  Tonight, I promise!)

Up, Up and Awaaaaay

Lucy's First Day of "School"

If you had told me two months ago that Lucy would be starting daycare today, I would've thought the world was ending.  I would've cried; I would've worried; I would've been overly critical; I would've (tried to) quit my job.  Two months ago, I wouldn't have allowed it.

But today I stand before my readers proudly, and say, Meh, things could be worse.

We got very lucky, as daycare options were not abundant within our price range, and found a clean, quality daycare that is close to our home.  The teachers are friendly and accomodating; the ratios are low; they allow for flexible schedules; and, a huge bonus:  they're Pro-Cloth!  We felt very comfortable from the moment we walked into the center; and Lucy had so much fun checking out all the toys playing with the other babies during our interview. 

I feel good about this.  It's not my first choice, but it's the most practical choice.  I know she'll have fun.  I know she'll learn.  And I know she'll get sick.  (Taking the good with the bad, right?)

So, as of 6:30 this morning, we're officially a Daycare Family...at least for two days a week.

She didn't cry once!