This is hard to type without crying. Today has been kinda rough. Lucy has been sick all week (actually she's been sick on and off for the last month); and the last two nights she woke at 3:30 and 4:00. I took her to the doctor today, and it turns out my sweet girl has her very first ear infection. Then I got a phone call from the ultrasound center that performed my NT Scan...
I completely forgot they had said to expect a call. I knew there was a problem as soon as the doctor said, Are you able to talk for a few minutes? I've gotten dozens of phone calls for blood work results, and they usually last less than 30 seconds. She went on to tell me that my ultrasound measurements were perfect, but my blood work results were abnormal. A normal result, for a woman of my age, is a 1 in 800 chance of having a baby with Down Syndrome. My result was 1 in 110. The doctor was quick to reassure me that this is still a less than one percent chance. She said, I have to make 109 more phone calls, and only one out of all you ladies will have a baby with Down Syndrome.
The tears started flowing as soon as I hung up. I tried to call Casey, but he didn't answer. And so I turned to my three friends, Jaye, Jenn and Meg, who got me through the next hour. They made me focus on the positive. They offered to come to my ultrasounds. And when Casey called, he reminded me of why we chose not to have this test with Lucy.
There will be two more blood screens and two more ultrasounds, for better indication, once I'm 15 weeks and the month following. Then I will have the option of Amniocentesis.
I'm overwhelmed with fear. I feel guilty. My eyes are swollen and burning from crying so hard. Jaye recommended that I read the birth story of Kelle Hampton's second daughter, Nella...and it has helped me tremendously. I could feel every emotion in her story. It reminded me of how much I already love my baby boy, and how much more I will love him once he's here. The outpouring of support has made all the difference. I can never say how grateful I am for your love and prayers.