Lucy's First Day of "School"

If you had told me two months ago that Lucy would be starting daycare today, I would've thought the world was ending.  I would've cried; I would've worried; I would've been overly critical; I would've (tried to) quit my job.  Two months ago, I wouldn't have allowed it.

But today I stand before my readers proudly, and say, Meh, things could be worse.

We got very lucky, as daycare options were not abundant within our price range, and found a clean, quality daycare that is close to our home.  The teachers are friendly and accomodating; the ratios are low; they allow for flexible schedules; and, a huge bonus:  they're Pro-Cloth!  We felt very comfortable from the moment we walked into the center; and Lucy had so much fun checking out all the toys playing with the other babies during our interview. 

I feel good about this.  It's not my first choice, but it's the most practical choice.  I know she'll have fun.  I know she'll learn.  And I know she'll get sick.  (Taking the good with the bad, right?)

So, as of 6:30 this morning, we're officially a Daycare Family...at least for two days a week.

She didn't cry once! 

Confessions: Week 18-20

Confession #35:  Without fail, every time I've had to wash my pump parts in the office, a male co-worker has inevitably walked by and struck up a conversation.

Confession #36:  For weeks I have been storing my breastshields in the refrigerator between pumping sessions; and for weeks I have been looking for an opportunity to use the phrase, I'll take two frosty cold breastshields please.

Confession #37:  On top of all the other shit I've forgotten, today I forgot to pack bottles.   Will be pumping into breastmilk storage bags that I keep in my desk for emergencies...


Have you missed my confessions?  Just think, one day very soon, when I'm a SAHM, I won't have anything left to confess!!

Confessions: Week 16 & 17

Confession #33:  I forgot to wear nursing pads yesterday.  The experience was...moist...to say the least.  Upon realizing there were some disposable nursing pads in my pump bag (thank you, Casey!), I suddenly remembered why I switched to cloth shortly after Lulu was born.  The disposables are so bulky and gross, but better than leaking through my shirt at the office!

Confession #34:  Belted shirts and dresses are not compatible with breast pumping.  I found that out last week.  Twice.  Am I brilliant or am I brilliant?

I fixed my boobs!

::throws arms into the air victoriously::

Who knew boobs could be so much work?

I used to be lopsided, dear friends.  Terribly, terribly lopsided.  Last week I noticed a very serious problem with my pumping situation...  At first I mistook the issue to be my supply in general, but I quickly realized my pumping output hadn't changed at all.  I was still pumping an average of 15 ounces while I was away from Lulu.  The problem was simply that Mrs. Right was only contributing about one fifth of the total volume.  (That's three ounces for the mathematically challenged.)

Three ounces in a ten hour period is pretty damn alarming.  And to be honest, I kind of lost my shit.

I have a tendency to over analyze, jump to the worst case scenerio, and eventually work myself up into a massive ball of stress.  In my mind I thought this was the end of my breastfeeding career, not with just Lucy, but with my future children.  And the idea of losing our nursing relationship now, after only six months, was absolutely crushing.  We all know that I love breastfeeding, so I'll do my best to contain my word vomit...  The bond that I've developed with Lucy through nursing has been one of the most beautiful and rewarding parts of being a mother, and, in my eyes, nursing is one of the best parts about being a mother.  And I am not ready to give that up. 

Ok, so, back to my boobs.

I immediately consulted my go-to breastfeeding gals (my Mom, Jaye, and Stacy) and Kellymom.  Going in, I sort of knew what the outcome would be.  Stimulation.  Breastfeeding is about supply and demand; if there is a demand, the milk supply increases.  Over the months I repeatedly made two mistakes in the stimulation department:  consistently offering Mrs. Left to Lulu first, and pumping Mrs. Left longer than Mrs. Right.  So you know what I did?

BOOM, baby!

I finally bought my double pump, and what a difference it has made.  Both boobs get pumped the same amount of time and for a longer amount of time.  And as an added bonus, I'm saving at least ten minutes per pumping session!  I test drove the new pump with a couple power pumping sessions last week and it was absolutely glorious.  

The breastfeeding gals even had me considering herbal supplements to encourage milk production.  And even though I had heard/read so many rave reviews about the use of Fenugreek, I was ultimately reluctant to use it.  The (rare, but still possible) side effects scare me too much, you can read about them here.  So I opted for some Organic Milkmaid Tea.  It doesn't work for everyone, but it seems to be helping me!  I drink it twice a day while at work, and holy geez does it has an interesting flavor; I can only describe it as unsalted chicken broth.

Yesterday my boobs were almost perfectly symmetrical in their output, but I began noticing a difference in Mrs. Right after day two of power pumping.

The things I do to feed my girl...

Has anyone out there ever been a little lopsided?  From what I hear, most women usually have an oversupply in their right breast, not the other way around - I guess that's just my luck...  Virtual high-fives to all those with double pumps!!!

Confessions: Week 14 & 15

Confession #30:  (More of a plug) Medela nipple cream, WHERE have you been all of my breastfeeding life?

Confession #31:  Wednesday was the first time in two weeks that I was able to get in all three of my pumping sessions while at work.  It was glorious.  I don't know how you twice-a-dayers do it.  Hats off to you!

Confession #32:  Sometimes while doing my breast compressions, I accidentally squeeze the skin inside the breast shield, and it makes a farting noise because of the air getting through. 


New to my Confessions of a Pumping Mother series?  Get caught up here.

Confessions: Week 13

Confession #27:  One time I accidentally sterilized my breast pump tubing.  And it melted.

Confession #28:  During my second pumping session on Thursday, Mrs. Right started bleeding....like a lot.  I was reading my book when I looked down and saw a thick ring of blood in the breast shield tunnel; then I saw blood dripping down into the connector, pooling in the valve.  ::gag::  I stopped pumping immediately, and, thankfully, no blood dripped down into the milk.  Commence freak out.  I called four lactation consultants (yes, FOUR, and not one of them answered), my OB, another breastfeeding momma (hi Stacy!), and my momma.  My Momma Bear suggested that I call the pump manufacturer, and that's when I finally got my answer.  Apparently my breast pump, The Swing, can only be used with one type of connector/pump body....  Meaning, my Medela Accessory Value Pack is proving to be less and less of a value.

Confession #29:  Today marks one full week of no walk-ins while pumping.  Hoorah!  Maybe my barricade is working? 



Happy Friday, dears!  I hope everyone has a great weekend.  If this is your first time visiting for my ohsobrilliant series Confessions of a Pumping Mother, you've got loads to catch up on!!

Confessions: Week 12

Confession #25:  Sometime last month I decided to save some money and be (even more) environmentally friendly by storing my breast milk in bottles instead of bags.  The switch has been great for the most part!  We're saving $5.99 a week on bags and we've cut down on trash; and, my dad/Fallon/Cole also seem to appreciate the conversion as well.  They no longer have to transfer breast milk to bottles (and risk spilling it all over themselves, the counter, and the floor - yes, they've done that a time or two).      

Confession #26:  After last week's confessions, I realized I needed to step up my game as far as keeping intruders out of my pumping lair. 

So far it has actually stopped one person from coming in - those office chairs are heavier than they look!  YAY for privacy!  I've also started hanging a sign that says, "In Use, PLEASE Knock".


New to my confessions?  Check out my other posts!  And, while you're at it, maybe you've got some confessing of your own to do...  Fess up, ladies!!!

Confessions: Week 8-11

Am I a terrible Catholic or what?  Its been weeks since my last confession!!

ETA:  Today marks my 3 month pump-iversary.  Wowza!

Confession #22:  I'm beginning to hate my right boob.

Confession #23:  I'm beginning to hate pumping in general.  Not so much that I'd ever think about quitting, but the flange situation combined with the general discomfort of pumping and the amount of time it takes me to pump....it can get frustrating some days...

Confession #24:  Two weeks ago a MAN walked in on me pumping.  I will never understand what would possess someone to open a closed door without knocking.  And then that following weekend, at a friend's baby shower, three separate women walked in on me nursing Lulu.  Granted I was in the purse room/office, but still, closed door!! 


These confessions are part of a series that I started shortly after returning to work, Confessions of a Pumping Mother.  My confessions range from ramblings to fun facts, to accidental mishaps (like this) and extreme pumping.

This is how I get ready in the morning...

Playmats are a life saver. 

In a perfect world Lulu would sleep until about 6 am, just in time for me to finish getting ready for the day.  Actually, in a really perfect world, I'd be a stay at home momma, and I wouldn't have to be up that early!  But, I digress...since we don't live in a perfect world, Lulu tends to start stirring around 5:30.

...while I'm still wandering around the house in my underwear, with my wet hair wrapped in a towel and Q-tips in my ears.

So when she wakes up, I usually bolt into the bedroom to snuggle with my warm, sleepy baby.  And when we eventually get up (since I've been known to fall back asleep), Lulu goes on her playmat for 10-15 minutes and I finish getting ready. 

Its not so long ago that I had to get ready this way:

Such fond memories...

4 (almost 5) Month Wake

::waves::  Hello everyone!  I've missed you!

I thoroughly enjoyed my week off of work!  But wouldn't you know it?  The week I decide to stay home is the week Lucy comes into her 4 month wake.  What is the 4 month wake, you ask?  Let me tell you....

A truly rare site in the Shelton home.

At 4 months old a baby's little brain begins developing cognitive thought.  Babies are observing the world and learning from the moment they are born, but the real fun happens from age 4-7 months.  Babies begin to understand cause and effect, their attention span and memory increases, and (closer to 7 months) object permanence.  Neat, huh?

Casey and I have always known that Lulu is absolutely brilliant, just look at her:

"Oh my, Dada!  Your glasses look dirty, I'll clean them for you."

All these super cool developments do come with a price tag...  Oh hello, fussiness!  What up, distracted eater!  Goodbye, naptime!  Au revoir, sleeping through the night!

So for the last week or so Lucy has been extremely fussy and distracted while breastfeeding.  Like, eat for five seconds - pause - look around, eat for another 10 seconds - pause - whip her head around (with my boob still in her mouth) to see something distracted.  And holy hell, is she a fuss pot!  I have no idea what she wants.  This is the first time I've ever felt truly frustrated as a new mom.

She's also cut her two 60+ minute naps to three, sometimes four, 15-20 minute naps.  And my favorite side effect, so far, has been her nighttime sleeping....she has literally woke up a minimum of five times each night for the last six nights.  Every hour on the hour, after 11 pm.  Including last night.  Only this week, I do have to work.  ::sobs::    

My good friend, Jenn, told me all about the 4 month wake over lunch last week, since her little cutie pie (who's just ten days younger than Lulu) is going through the very same thing.  All along I had been blaming teething pains, ha!


The week wasn't all bad though...

We had lunch dates with baby friends

We swam

We had a birthday

 

Birthday Daddy!

We got new fluff (post to come!)

Yes, that's a paci.  No, she's still not taking them.

And we even started sitting up on our own!

Unfortunately, the only pic I managed to take is blurry.  Poo.

How was everyone's week?  Fill me in!

Bonding Time

I'm taking the week off.  No work.  Minimal blogging.  Just me and my Goose (until Loverboy gets home from work).  Hip hip HOORAY!

What will I do all week, you ask?  I'm going to lay in bed and/or on my dirty old couch with Lulu until my arms fall off (or until Lulu needs to be changed...whichever comes first).    

Confessions: Week 7

Confession #19:  I beat that crazy lady to the conference room!  I turned the corner and cut her off (accidentally, of course), and all but ran to get to the conference room before her.

Confession #20:  When I pump it feels like my nipples are slowly being split open.  Me no likey.

Confession #21:  I only put Lucy to the breast twice yesterday.  That is just how little I saw her.  Part of that is my fault, because we had to reschedule our date night from Friday to Thursday, BUT that ten hour work day isn't helping the situation.



These confessions are part of a series that I started shortly after returning to work, Confessions of a Pumping Mother.  My confessions range from ramblings to fun facts, to accidental mishaps (like this) and extreme pumping.  Did you miss last week's confessions? 

Confessions: Week 6

Confession #15:  I cannot eat while I pump or breastfeed.  I just can't.  It makes me uncomfy.  I know that my tuna sandwich isn't going to go directly into my breast milk...but still...its weird.  And I think eating while breastfeeding is just rude.  Excuse me, Lulu, I'd rather eat my popsicle than stare into your dreamy eyes. 

Confession #16:  Miss Left put out 7 ounces this morning.  You go girl!

Confession #17:  If I am still working after this Christmas, I am first going to kick and scream, and then I'm going to buy a new DOUBLE breast pump.

Confession #18:  I splurged and bought myself two new breast shields yesterday.  I bet your jealous, huh?  Don't be.  After buying, and then using, these breast shields I realized they were the wrong size.  Awesome.
 
Did you miss last week's confessions?  You poor thing!  Go!  Go read them all NOW!   

Any of my pumping momma friends out there want to confess?  Now's the time!  

I don't see you enough.

I don't see you enough. 

Everyday, when I have to leave you, I ask God why.  Why do I have to leave her?  Why do I have to go to work?  Why can't I just stay with her forever?

My favorite part of the day is coming home and seeing you smile.  When I walk through the door, your face lights up with the biggest smile the world has ever seen.  You bounce up and down, and gurgle with excitement.  You tell me all about your day and give me a big, drool-filled kiss.

My second favorite part of the day is bedtime.  Specifically those last few minutes before we both fall asleep...when we're laying there quietly, just staring at each other sleepily, holding hands and drifting away.  I savor those 5-10 minutes, because one day I know I'll blink and you'll be too big for bed-sharing.  Too big for breastfeeding.  Too big for cuddling.

I don't see you enough.

Whoever said 12 10 weeks postpartum was sufficient?  I think a year would be better.  And I think never again would be even better than that.  Maternity leave flew by.  I was in such a sleep deprived daze, just trying to survive being a new mom, that I didn't realize how fleeting time really was.  I didn't appreciate each and every moment the way I should have.

Every day I go to work, because I have to work.  Every day I stare at your pictures on my phone and pray that one day I can stay home with you.  And every day I get more and more miserable. 

I should be the one you show your belly to...

I don't see you enough. 

You are my baby.  My precious little baby girl that I carried in my belly for over 38 weeks.  We were always together.  And for those first ten weeks of your life, we were always together.  I feel like mothers shouldn't have to work (unless they want to...  Then, by all means, knock your socks off!).  I'd live in a cardboard box, with no cell phone, no vacations, no anything, if it meant I could be with you all day everyday.  Unfortunately, I don't think CPS would approve of the whole cardboard box thing.

I should be there for nakey baby time...

I always knew that I would love to be a stay at home mom, but I never knew I'd need to be a stay at home mom.


How about you mommas?  How do you feel about your decision to stay home or work?  Is anyone else in the process of trying to become a SAHM?  

Confessions: Week 5

Confession #11:  I wish that I could pump at my desk, I'd rock a hands free pump and all.  I'd get so much more work done!

Confession #12:  The very first thing I do when I sit down to pump, in the office and at home, is take my shoes off.

Confession #13:  (more of a fun fact than a confession) the skin on and around your breasts - like your arm pits (!) - may become itchy during let down.  Just another fun sign of a healthy let down.  Happens to me quite often thankyouverymuch.

Confession #14:  I call my dad and/or Fallon three times a day, during every pump break, for an update on Goose.  This annoys the hell out of my dad, but Fallon humors me.  Hey!  It preserves my sanity, ok?! 

Update on Auntie:  She was discharged from the hospital Thursday night, after some exploratory and minor surgery.  She is doing MUCH better!

Love you, Sissy!

Confessions: Week 3 & 4

Were you missing your weekly confessions last week?  I sure was!

You'd think having only worked 2.5 days last week, I wouldn't have much to confess.  Well you'd be wrong, my dears!  To make up for my absence....EXTRA confessions!!!

Confession #6:  (unrelated to breastfeeding) I stopped wearing make up after Lucy was born.   Not sure if that makes me a feminist or just lazy.

Confession #7:  There is an obscene amount of breast milk on the conference room table. 

Confession #8:  When getting dressed in the morning, I have to ask myself, Can I yank my boob out easily in this top?

Confession #9:  It happened...my biggest fear...someone walked in on me pumping last week.  AND after she realized what I was doing, she still asked if she could use the phone in the conference room.  ::smacks head::  NO!  No you cannot, lady!!!

Confession #10:  I have to walk by the office candy bowl every time I go to pump, and every time I need to tell myself, NO!  Two pounds, TWOOO pounds!!!


Have you entered to win your custom canvas print yet?  The GIVEAWAY ends tomorrow!!!

Goodbye Swaddle, Hello Arms!

Its official, we are DONE swaddling!

Last week I was getting Lulu ready for bed, wrapping her in the swaddle blanket, and she would not stop squirming; I nursed her for almost an hour, and she was still wide awake and very clearly frustrated.  I rocked her, sang to her and rubbed her little nose.  She wasn't having it. 

At 1:30 I decided to try putting her to sleep sans swaddle.  After some more nursing, Lulu *finally* shut her eyes.  It was a small victory, though, because she woke herself up every fifteen minutes.

The following night was a whole lotta the same nonsense.  We swaddled, we nursed, we rocked, we sang...it was approaching midnight, and Goose was WIDE awake.  

She was starting to whine, and I was teetering on the edge on sanity, so I gently woke Casey for some help.  By gently, I mean I shrieked, "YOU need to help me!"

We gave her a small dose of baby Tylenol, and chalked her restlessness up to "growing pains".  Casey rocked her for awhile, and eventually brought her to me to nurse.  She fell asleep without the swaddle, and stayed asleep for a couple of hours.     

Pssst!  Momma, I'm hungry!!!

Fast forward one week, and Lulu seems to have gotten the hang of things (yes!).

Those first few days were rough, though.  I do not function properly on three (choppy) hours of sleep.  I was desperate for a solution; I contemplated buying The Woombie and even starting Lulu on solids, but neither of those were practical solutions.  All you can really do is wait it out... 

(seriously, its a myth that solids help babies sleep through the night - but we'll talk about that later).

The average age that babies outgrow the swaddle is 3-4 months; and, whether I like it or not, Lulu is almost 4 months old!  We had a good run, Swaddle.  You will be missed!

Have any of you mommas had to break the swaddle habit recently?  Do tell!

Extreme Pumping

I've invented a new sport!  I can't believe I didn't post about this sooner!!!

Last Friday, I strolled into my makeshift mothers room for my morning pump session, and came to the frightening realization that I had forgotten my pump.

Panic strikes...WHAT IF I CAN'T PUMP ALL DAY?!....I'LL EXPLODE!!!!!   

After calling my mom, Casey, and my dad, I decide to meet my dad halfway between my office and Fountain Thrills to pick up my pump.  This is all well and good, except loads AND LOADS of time are being wasted.

Then...a flash of brilliance...YES!...I will pump while I drive, in an effort to recoup some of my lost morning!!! It can't be that hard, right?

Wrong.

I drive a manual.  And the route to and from my office happened to be under construction that morning...  So there was a lot of stop and go, and A LOT of staring.  I can only imagine the number of people that saw my ladies in action that morning....pretty much anyone in a truck or SUV could look right into my car.  It didn't matter to me though, because I was on a mission.  It all worked out in the end; I got my pumping session and Lulu had milk for her next time at Auntie Fallon Daycare*. 

Maybe I'm falling into a pattern of extreme breastfeeding in general....first I was the boob dangling momma, and now I'm the extreme pumping momma!  The things I do for this sweet face...

*Auntie Fallon has taken over daycare duties for the time being, due to some medical issues Grandpa is facing.  Post on that to come...

Confessions of a Pumping Mother: Week 3

Confession #6:  Mrs. Right produces a lot less than Mrs. Left.  I'd venture to say about half as much...  I'm actually a little embarrassed for her.

Confession #7:  (completely unrelated to breastfeeding) I actually prefer my Infantino carrier to the Moby wrap.  Gasp!

Confession #8:  It finally happened...twice actually...someone was in my makeshift mothers room when I needed to pump. I ended up in an empty cubicle on the unoccupied portion of our floor....verrrry awkward, to say the least.

Maybe confession #5 jinxed me.....

Confessions of a Pumping Mother: Week 2

Confession #3:  I am terrified of someone walking in on me while pumping.  I used to sit in front of the door, as a human barricade, but then my pump batteries died....so now I sit near the electrical outlet, opposite the door.

Confession #4:  I find pumping to be mildly uncomfy.

Confession #5:  I worry that this abandoned room used to be someone's secret hiding place before I converted it to a Mothers Room.  I dread the day that I walk into the room and someone else is already in there.