23 Months

One more month (less than, actually!), Lu, and you'll be 2!  You are becoming a little girl.  A stunningly beautiful, brilliant little girl.  I cannot believe that you were once your brother's age (and I cannot believe that Parker will one day be your age).  It's amazing what another year and some hair can do to a girl!

You are the very definition of adorable.  You say the funniest (sometimes strangest) things.  We have so much fun with you.  You're also quite the tantrum-thrower.  You can be pretty moody sometimes; but we ignore that behavior completely-- even in public.  (It was a little embarrassing the first time you flung yourself on the floor of Target, and it felt like everyone was staring.  Doesn't phase me anymore, though!)

You are a loving, sweet big sister and momma's little helper.  If I can't get to Parker right away, I can ask you to bring him a toy or give him kisses.  You happily oblige and say, "Matter, CarCar?" (What's the matter, CarCar?)  You even inform me when he poops or wakes up from his nap.  Every morning you shout, "BABY!" and run to where he is laying and dive on him.  You and momma alternate blowing raspberries on his belly and tickling his um-pins.  And you always, always, always say, "Night night CarCar. Ove you CarCar" before naps and bedtime. 

Favorite phrases we heard this month:
Mom! (rather than whining to let me know you're ready to get out of your crib)
Baby kying/awake
Baby poop/fart
Where'd he/she/momma/daddy go?
Watch Ax (Lorax)
Carry me
Daddy shower with me
Nees (necklace) fall down drain. (after dropping your Baltic Amber down the shower drain) 
Dance CarCar, daaaance. Dance, dance, dance!
Booger... (after picking your nose, and attempting to hand your findings to Daddy)
Duck poop!  Ew.  (said while inspecting your shoes after visiting the park).

Favorite pictures...

Rinsing the soap off of Parker.

 

Sharing your milk with Daddy.

Omg, this kills my knees, but it always cracks you up.

Comparing Baltic Amber with Eliana (or as you refer to her, "Ana")

M is for Mother, not Maid.

I am a stay at home mom, not a stay at home maid.  I cannot be both.  I have been trying so hard to be both, and it is making me crazy.  So, I'm done trying.  If the kids are awake, I will not attempt to clean or do laundry.

Back in August, at the end of my very first day alone with the two kids, Casey walked in the door from work and said (sarcastically), "Wow, the house looks nice..."  I was so mad and so hurt; it was a really challenging day, and I was proud of myself just for keeping the kids alive.  For once, I didn't care that the house was a mess.  I knew Casey was joking, but that comment gave me a complex.  From then on, I felt like I needed to prove myself everyday.  Toys put away, kids dressed and happy, dinner started, grocery shopping and laundry done, bills paid.  All with a smile.

It was difficult, because I was waking up with the kids; I had no kid-free time to do any work around the house.  It would take the whole day to empty the dishwasher, because I'd put away 2 things and would have to pick up Parker or go play with Lucy.  I was frustrated with myself and I felt like Casey was silently judging me every time he came home.  I told myself the house was my responsibility, since he works full time and earns the majority of our income.  It was too much, though.  I was defeated before the day even started. I felt depressed and worthless, and it made me way less fun to be around.

It took me a long time, but I finally came to terms with the fact that I had to start waking up before the kids.  So, for the past month, I've been getting up with Casey almost everyday...at 5 am.  (And, for the record, there are still some nights that I stay up until 12, 1 and 2 am baking.)  I even made a weekly chore schedule: Mondays - meal plan and shopping list, Tuesdays - laundry, etc. It seems to have helped somewhat.  (I've also scaled back the baking operation to just one farmers market per week and custom orders; set some remodeling goals to help be more organized; and lowered my expectations in general.)

I cannot tell you how much less of an uptight bitch I am when I get enough sleep, the house is somewhat put together, and I don't have to bake.  I actually feel happy.  I actually enjoy my kids and being home.  Amazing, huh??

Parker gets baptised.

Baptism, like so many other things, is easier the second time around.  I just sort of called Pastor Steve and said, "Hey, remember us?  We had another baby."  (Of course, there was a slight awkwardness because we hadn't stepped foot in church since Lucy's baptism-- and the Pastor pointed that out.)

And so, on Sunday, February 3, (a.k.a. Super Bowl Sunday) Parker was baptised.  We kept it small, just family and our closest friends (our tiny house can't handle much more than that).  It was the first time our house had really been cleaned and presentable in months; and, added bonus, Casey even finished our outdoor playroom (will share in another post, promise).  My mom and I cooked up some yummy brunch items, and there wasn't a crumb leftover.  It was a beautiful ceremony and party, despite missed naps and nursing sessions.

Parker's godparents, Meg and Mike, are two of our closest friends that we love mucho.  I think of Meg as my big sister, and she thinks of Parker as her own-- so, asking them seemed like no-brainer.  We were beyond thrilled when they accepted.

Here are some pictures from the day...  (Please note:  Parker is wearing Uncle Cole's baptism suit that is about two sizes too small.  He rocked it.)

Bored out of her mind.

Hamming it up for the congregation.

We did it!

YUM.

Group photo fail.
(Everyone was exhausted and hungry, and Parker was so dang slippery in that silk outfit.)

 

Birth Control

I got an IUD yesterday.  (Holy shit was that unpleasant.)

We are done having kids.  It was hard to admit at first, and it's still sort of surreal to think (empty nesters at 40??  What!)-- but I grow more comfortable with this decision every single day.  I want to clarify that this has nothing very little to do with having 2U2.  We have our reasons...we have quite a few reasons, actually.  And I'm going to share them, so that when my uterus is green with envy, I can tell it to STFU.

Reason #1:  We are spread too thin.  I constantly worry that Parker isn't given the same amount of attention as Lucy was when she was his age.  And it's only going to get harder as they get older and become more involved.  I want to be close to my kids, and I worry that that wouldn't be possible if our time were further divided.

Reason #2:  The cost.  Diapers, clothes, food, Christmas presents, COLLEGE, etc...  We don't make a lot of money, and that's not something that is going to change anytime soon.  I want to be able to give our children as much as we can.

Reason #3:  Planes, Trains and Automobiles.  And houses.  We don't travel a lot now...  Travel wouldn't happen at all, if anymore kids were thrown in the mix; the cost and effort required would be ridiculous.  We'd also need a bigger car and house. 

Reason #4:  Two is hard, three (or more) is impossible.  I'm in "Survivor Mode" 95% of the week as is.  Diaper changes, feeding everyone, cleaning......I get exhausted thinking about it all.  It is daunting.  Getting out the door takes two people or two hours.  I don't have enough arms, eyes or hours in the day. 

Reason #5:  I hate odd numbers.  I come from a family of five.  Do you know how awkward it is to get a table for 5?  Or who had to sit alone on the roller coaster?  THIS GIRL.  I was always left out; and I refuse to do that to my kids.  That being said, if we are blessed with a third child, I will feel obligated to have a fourth just to level the playing field.  And there is NO WAY I can handle 4 kids.  (See Reason #4.)

I'll miss the excitement of getting a big fat positive pregnancy test and preparing for baby; I will miss the anticipation; most of all, I will miss the big belly.  I'll never know if I could have had a pain med-free birth.  I'll miss the infant milestones and teeny tiny clothes.  I'll always wonder what our other children might have looked like.  But I know (99.9% sure) that this is what's best for our family. 


And, while we're not on the subject at all, can I just say that I hate how much I've neglected this blog.

The Art of Green Bean Eating

Hmm, what do we have here?

Let me just open 'er up and take a look.

"Oh man."

Gasp!

"Beeeeeeeeeean!"

nom nom nom

::casually steals more beans from unsuspecting momma::

(And that would be why we eat green beans 2 to 3 times a week.)