(said with a hefty dose of sarcasm)
1. That little yeast rash on Lucy's buttcheek is actually a STAPH INFECTION. It's inflamed, it's spreading, and it's contagious.
2. While at the doctor's office, waiting to have said infection diagnosed, Lucy fell on her face. (Not a big deal, though, she falls constantly.) She began to (silently) pick herself up, when this ancient, moronic woman gasped and shouted, "Oh my God, OH MY GOD! That has to hurt!! Oh my God, the poor baby!" And then Lucy had the most epic of meltdowns.
3. I had my first night completely to myself on Tuesday. Casey was at his softball game and the kids went down (and stayed down) by 8:00. I was all set to watch the fall premieres on Hulu (with beer and popcorn in hand) when I realized that my laptop's battery was dead-- because apparently our charger is broken.
4. In a recent effort to save a couple bucks on the heinous amounts of diaper rash cream that I purchase, I chose the generic brand... That night, as I squeezed and squeezed that stupid tube, the damn cream exploded out the wrong end-- all over MY side of the bed.
Add to that a lizard in my kitchen sink, a wicked cut from shaving, and my body's reluctance to shed these last 10 pounds, and you've got yourself one pissy lady. /bangs gavel