Do you ever wonder about the parallel universe where the other you lives? You know, the part of you that chose the opposite in every decision you ever made... I don't usually, but yesterday I found myself wondering about her.
What if I didn't marry Casey 4 years ago?
I would have finished my bachelors degree.
I would be an accountant or an underwriter where my mom works.
I would have a substantial salary and I would spend it selfishly.
I would buy $5 coffees, schedule massages every month and sign up for a gym membership.
I would wish for a boyfriend and wonder why I didn't have one.
I would be obsessed with my weight and my appearance.
I wouldn't have many friends; instead, I would cling to my siblings despite growing apart from them.
I would have time to myself. Too much time. I would be lonely.
I wouldn't be happy.
I wouldn't have two little people at home that love me and need me. Two little people that I love more than anything else-- even cake. Two little people that I would do anything for. Two little smiles that are contagious and impossible not to return. Two big, chubby bellies that are meant to be squeezed and tickled.
I wouldn't know love.
Our life is not perfect. Our life is not what I expected it to be or what I daydreamed about in high school. Life is hard. And hectic. And messy. And sometimes unfair. (Another lesson learned!) But I have no regrets and I don't envy that girl.