The Filth

Let's talk about how disgusting my house is.  That sounds fun, right?

Jenn was on the phone with me while I took these pictures.  She can attest to how pissed I was.

Sure, I could post pictures of our house when it's absolutely spotless.  I could pretend that I'm Super Mom, with a clean house and folded laundry.  But that would be a gross misrepresentation of how we live.  Our house has looked like a landfill pretty much since Lucy was born.  Every weekend I run around the house, trying to put it in order, and the finished product lasts all of ten seconds.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot keep a clean house.  Between the dishes, the mail, the laundry, and all the other random crap that finds it's way onto my kitchen counters (and kitchen table, entertainment center, nightstands, the floor and every other flat surface), I just can't keep up.

I'll start laundry on Saturday afternoon and I won't finish it until Thursday evening.  It's not like we have an absurd amount of laundry either, I just have zero motivation to get it finished.  Then there's the diapers...they might as well live on the drying rack, because we never stock the changing table; we literally walk to the garage before every diaper change to grab a diaper.  Seriously.

/dies 


Anyone out there fallen into a similar pattern or am I just completely incapable?

I don't have Mommy Brain

You have to have a brain in order to have Mommy Brain!

I really feel like a brainless idiot 99% of the time.  And for those of you who know me in real life, you know that I used to be quite the opposite.  I was a list person.  I was a clean and organized person.  I was the overachiever and the perfectionist.  I had a clean house.  I made nice dinners.  You get the point...  And I did all of those things while working full-time and going to school full-time (and I maintained a 3.8 GPA, nonetheless!).    

Remember when I said that I wouldn’t go back to school?  Ha.  Even if I wanted to, there is no way in Hell that I could!  I apparently can't even put a sweater on correctly, let alone write a thesis.              

Here's a few of my most recent hiccups:

Forgot my nursing pads.

Forgot my pump.

Spilled my breast milk (more than once!).

Started walking into things.  I carry so much crap, that I walk with a lean, and the other day I straight up smacked my head on the door jam of the nursery. 

Lost all patience, for anyone that's not Lucy.

Forgotten pretty much everyone’s birthday this year.  Thank God for Facebook, right?!

Forgotten to RSVP and/or lost the invitation to every baby shower that I’ve been invited to this year – 4 (or was it 5?) in the last six months.  And the one time I did remember to RSVP (for a birthday party, not a shower), I almost forgot to go!  Sorry Meg!!!

Became terribly, terribly tongue-tied.  I sound like a scattered, babbling idiot, talking faster than I can breathe.  I pity my poor husband and friends that have to decode my cryptic emails and text messages, with missing words and erroneous thoughts.  

Stopped paying my bills.  I finally set up auto-pay for the important stuff like credit cards and the mortgage, but utilities...  Meh.  They can wait.

"Relaxed" my cleaning standards.   By "relaxed" I mean we once went six days with the same pile of dirty dishes in our kitchen sink.  Maybe I should write a post about the filth, that could be fun.

Started leaving later and later and LATER for work.  I have a 45-55 minute commute (that's with a carpool buddy), so there's not a lot of cushion.  Pre-Lucy, I got to work ten minutes early.  Nowadays, I'm too ashamed to say.

And yesterday, when I got home from work, realized my sweater was on inside out.  ALL.DAY.LONG. 


Do you have Mommy Brain too?  Please tell me I'm not alone!