Meet Mr. Bionic

I'd venture to say about half of Grampy's body is made of titanium steel. 

The man has a boatload of problems...and we'll leave it at that.

Last Thursday he gave us quite the scare.  (Hence my absence.)  Let me start by saying this man canNOT pass up a good buy.  He bought a giant palm tree - it's about 12 feet tall and weighs almost 500 pounds - that was on sale, to surprise my mom.  And being the manly man that he is, he decided to unload the tree from his truck.  By himself.

He blames the wind.  We blame him.

The tree AND hydraulic gurney fell on top of him.  Try to picture this...he fell backward, did a split, and at one point was laying on top of his left leg.  With a 500 POUND tree on top of him.  The tree eventually rolled over him (breaking his nose, putting his tooth through his lip, and nearly scalping his notorious skullet).  He laid in the driveway for God knows how long, screaming for help.  No one could hear him.  My sister was inside the house, watching Lucy, and there were no neighbors around.  Fallon finally came outside, because she needed to leave for work, and found him.  Imagine finding that?!

She called for an ambulance and he was rushed to the hospital.  My mom and I left work immediately and met him there.  This was the longest car ride of my life.  Fallon was crying, my mom was crying, I was crying. 

It took five fire fighters to move that stupid tree.  FIVE.

The nurses (very theatrically) cut his clothes off and took him for x-rays.  We later found out that he had broken his left femur.  That's right, the biggest bone in the body.  Since he's had both hips replaced (among other things), the break was around the steel rod in his femur.  He was scheduled for surgery the next day, where the doctor would make an incision from hip to knee, and attach another steel rod to the outside of his femur with cables.

The surgery was successful.  It took three hours and two blood transfusions, but it was successful.  Grampy comes home today, two days ahead of schedule.

 
Recovery is a minimum of 12 weeks.

This is NOT the way I expected to become a SAHM.  We'll use vacation time and FMLA to cover Lucy Duty for the next month.  We have one month to find a new plan.  One.month.